then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
