Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
