I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
PANTIES FOUND
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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