At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
