I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
