i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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