the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
