Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I could have mohawked her pubes.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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