Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
