I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
