party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
