Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
