Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Ladies don't puke and tell
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
