I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
