The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
