Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
