Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
