Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
