Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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