I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
