How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
