Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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