If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
