do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
