Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
