Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
there was a trapeze. enough said
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
