bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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