I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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