You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
