Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
