Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
