You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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