If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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