i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
