WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
