What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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