Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Randomize
