Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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