So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
