I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
