I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Drake has all the answers
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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