Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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