Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
