Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
