My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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