and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have fence marks all over my body
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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