And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
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