am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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