i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
