i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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